ChiKat

Pregnancy is an incredibly unique experience. Despite how much or how little a woman prepares for it, I don't know any woman who felt like she was in control while she was pregnant. Nature takes over, whether you like it or not.

I know some women who ate well, exercised their entire pregnancy and still gained a ton of weight. I know other women who ate whatever they wanted and gained hardly anything. In my case, I exercised, ate well and was blessed with good genetics. I gained 25 pounds. I was back to my pre-pregnancy shape a month after giving birth.

What's been weird for me is the reaction from other women about my shape. I've had several women look at me and say, "It's women like you who make it hard for the rest of us!" They smile when they say it, but they don't sound happy.

Other women say, "You lost all your pregnancy weight already? I still have mine and my youngest is five…" and it's said with such sadness, as if I have reminded them that they have somehow failed as a mother.

I have no idea how to respond to these comments. They aren't really compliments.

Saying "Thank you" feels like I am validating their unspoken statement that I have bested them somehow.

Giving them a long-winded speech about how I ate well, exercised every day, and still have to fight arthritis pain to care for my son seems a little pretentious.

Pointing out that their comments further a culture of competitive mothering seems a little too aggressive for me.

So far, I've avoided direct responses my burying my head in my son's neck and asking the women if babies ever do this thing called sleep…you know, at night? Maybe more than three hours?