08/14/2007
It's All My Fault!
As I mentioned in my last post, a lot of people blame my son's behavior on my diet. People make that connection because I'm breast-feeding, but one of my girlfriends pointed out that the connection never ends.
Mothers so often seem to feel like their worth is wrapped up in the behavior of their children. I see it in myself already. If my son is screaming while we are out, I am totally stressed because I feel like I am doing something wrong. My husband doesn't *like* to hear my son scream, but if my son starts screaming in public, my husband is more inclined to shrug his shoulders and say, "Eh…he's a little crabby right now…". My husband doesn't feel like a bad parent because his son is having a bad day. I can't say the same about myself.
When my son is being a pill, I feel like I failed as a mother. It shocks me to feel this way. And then I think about all the well-behaved kids I know, and all the times I've said, "Yeah, she's such a great mom." because I associate the children's behavior with mothering.
That makes the situation suck even more. I want to rail against society for putting undue pressures on women, then I realize I'M society.
08:10 Posted in Baby, baby | Permalink | Comments (1) | Email this
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A friend gave me these two pearls of wisdom:
1. There is "The Child" that you read about in books and hear about from other people. "The Child" may have absolutely no resemblance to "Your Child" and that's ok.
2. There are a million ways to raise a great kid and not one of them is perfect.
Also, from my medical background: Average/typical development has a very wide range.
We have some friends who had a baby who cried a lot, especially at night, and they got some kind of hammock bed similar to this that helped: http://www.ambybaby.com/
Don't be so hard on yourself!
Posted by: carolyn | 08/14/2007
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