ChiKat

Both my brother's are getting security clearances this summer. Isn't that weird? My Marine brother is applying for an assignment that requires more than the basic security clearance that he already has. My cryptography brother is going to be doing an internship at a national lab that requires a security clearance.

Oddly, no one is interested in my security clearance. I'm raising the future President of the United States here, and no one seems to care. Weird.

Things I've Done Instead of Updating My Blog:

1. Went to Dominick's, loaded an entire cart of groceries, then realized I had left my wallet at home. Panicked, because I had no means to pay for all the yummy, yummy food. Scurried out of the store, feeling total shame for abandoning a cart full of groceries in aisle 12.

2. Called the insurance company to find out if my son had been added to our plan. Spent 10 minutes on hold and a torturous 20 minutes trying to get paperwork errors resolved. At one point was asked, "Are you sure he was born on the 2nd?" and honestly looked at the calendar to confirm that I was indeed in labor and delivery on the 2nd.

3. Examined my stitches. I've never had stitches, so I don't know what most people experience, but knowing that thread is holding together my innards is a most unpleasant thought.

4. Addressed sixty envelopes for the birth announcements. Number of envelopes required for this task: 78. Apparently, sleep depravation interferes with one's ability to properly write.

5. Made all the fixings for some fabulous cheese sandwiches, only to realize we had no cheese.

I've already said this isn't a baby blog, but I thought you'd like to hear my experience getting to the hospital.

I didn't take any Lamaze or childbirth classes. I'd rather read a book than take a class. Sometimes I put a little too much faith in books.

The day my son was born, I woke up around 2 AM with pain really low in my back. Honestly, it felt like I had to use the bathroom. I went back to sleep, but I kept waking up with this sensation of being a little constipated. I would try to go to the bathroom, but nothing would happen. I kept trying to go back to sleep, but my 5:30 AM, I couldn't ignore the pain anymore. I got out of bed and wandered into the living room and watched the neighborhood wake up. By 6:30, I had this epiphany that the back pain was coming every five or six minutes, so maybe it was early labor and not actually a bathroom issue.

I woke up my husband, but I was sure that the pain was just the start of a very long day, so I told him to go back to bed since he would have to go to work. I kept wandering around the house. I watched the moon set and the sun rise. I watched the residents leave for work, and the students arrive and take all the street parking.

By 8:30, the back pain had gotten really intense. I still wasn't sure if this was the real thing. My husband woke up and looked in all my birthing books. Everything said that labor starts in the back and moves to the front. Real labor is in the front. Each contraction lasts for more than 30 seconds.

My pain was between 15 and 25 seconds. I never had long contractions. It was all back pain. My stomach was totally relaxed. We called our doctor, and she agreed that it was early labor, but I could come into the hospital anyway if I wanted.

I was so disappointed at that point. I was having trouble handling the pain, but I was sure I was less than 2 cm. I didn't want to spend the entire day at the hospital, laboring in unfamiliar surroundings with all their machines and monitors. But every instinct in my body was telling me to get to the hospital.

Suddenly, the pain changed. Instead of coming every five minutes or so, it started coming every minute. The contractions were still short, but they hit me in waves. I couldn't sit. I couldn't lie down. The idea of a 30 minute car ride terrified me because I would be trapped in a seat. But staying home wasn't an option.

My husband scrambled to get our hospital bag in order. He told me that the car was ready. Suddenly, the contractions stopped. A part of me was convinced that it was over and that those were just Braxton Hicks contractions. The other (more sane) part of me raced down the condo stairs into the car. I wanted to take advantage of the break in pain while I could.

One block later my water broke, which meant I spent the entire car ride sitting in a cold, slimy marshmallow of blood and mucus. I seriously thought, "Huh. I guess it's not just in my head…this really IS labor."

Once my water broke, I had a HUGE desire to push. My books mentioned that some women defecate while they are in labor. I had already had my water break in the car. I was HORRIFIED at the idea of pooping in the car also. What can I say? I'm a bit of a prude about bodily functions. Thankfully, that prudishness gave me the strength to fight against the urge to push.

When the urge ripped through my body, I would arch my back and chant, "Don't push! Don't push!" over and over, while hanging my head out the window, dripping in sweat.

When I started chanting, "Don't Push", my poor husband practically had a heart attack. I might have thought I wanted to go to the bathroom, but he had a much more realistic view of what was happening. The expressway we normally would take was under construction. So, for the locals, we took MLK to Cermak to Ashland to get to Rush. In other words, we hauled ass through the south side. Technically, we did stop at red lights, but only for a micro-second before speeding through the intersections. We must have run at least 20 red lights. It being the south side, that was not a problem.

We got the hospital at 10 AM. I was fully dilated and ready to deliver. My son was born an hour later.

If you saw some more woman, hanging her head out of a Volkswagen while her husband raced down MLK, that was us. Thanks for giving us the right of way.

It's snowing here. It's cold, wet and feeling very not-spring-like. I have no interest in venturing outside with the new baby. My husband took a week off of work after the baby was born. During that week, it was just the three of us in our little world. Now he's back at work, but I'm still in this little cocoon of a condo with the baby and the dog. It's delightful for me, but it doesn't make for a lot of blog commentary. This isn’t a baby blog, so I don't want to bore you with tales of how AMAZINGLY CUTE my son is.

All I've got for you is what I can see from my condo window. Which means I'm blogging about the snow. Did I mention the cold?

Anyway, there's a new YoChicago post up about NPR's interest in Woodlawn.

I'll try to drag my body outside of this cocoon so I witty and interesting things to tell you…but that probably isn't going to happen for another week.

My son was born on Monday! He was 7 pounds even. 20 1/2 inches long. Totally perfect. I will share all the fun details with you, but for now I am too busy cooing over him. I'll update again in a week or so.